


How to be Handsome

by Erwins_eyebrows



Series: Erwin Week 2018 [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Medical Trauma, Nudity, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-04 21:03:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16354262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erwins_eyebrows/pseuds/Erwins_eyebrows
Summary: “We could go hang out over there...with that.”  Levi followed the direction Isabel’s finger was pointing.  Standing at a tall table at the outer edge of the dance floor was a tall blonde talking to a couple at the table.  Levi watched as he turned and scanned the crowd almost self-consciously.  He was easily the most attractive man Levi had seen in a long time.  He had broad shoulders, a trim waist, and a fantastic ass.  The chiseled jaw, high cheekbones, and a set of full, soft lips was the stuff of fantasies.  He was stunning, and Levi was interested.  Levi then watched as he nodded at something and started to make his way across the room.





	How to be Handsome

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I kinda recycled a drabble for this. I had requests to make the drabble longer, so mission accomplished. This a different take on the handsome theme for Day 6 of Erwin Week. I hope you guys like it.

Agent Erwin Smith could not remember what it felt like to be shot.  

 

He remembered the rush of adrenaline he felt when he saw the sawed-off, twelve gauge being pointed at his partner, Mike Zacharias.  He remembered not thinking of the consequences as he put himself between the shotgun and his dearest friend. He remembered the sound of the shot.  He remember how it made his ears ring before everything became muffled. He remembered the burn of hot metal against his skin. He remembered feeling his body go cold with blood loss and shock.  He remembered how everything seemed to move in slow motion as his body fell to the floor. He remembered how the world faded to black.

 

He remembered waking up, screaming from the pain in an arm that was no longer there.

 

He remembered the fevered dreams from being under heavy sedation.  He remembered the way the remaining stub of his arm tensed with pain if he so much as breathed too hard.  He remembered the fuzziness in his head that felt like thick cotton in his brain. He remembered the first moment of lucidity, seeing Mike folded up in the small hospital chair asleep.  He remembered Mike’s wife, Nanaba, quietly crying into a tissue when he tried to speak her name. 

 

He remembered the absence of the only family he had, his fiancee, Flagon.

 

He remembered how days bled into weeks of seeing the same four walls, eating the same tasteless food, feeling the same agonizing pain.  He remembered that after two weeks of this hell how his friend, Nile, and, his wife, Marie, were the ones who fetched him from the hospital to take him home.  He remembered the horrified look on Flagon’s face the moment he saw his empty sleeve. He remembered how his fiancee wouldn’t even touch him, not even to hold his remaining hand, even though he had just escaped the grip of death.

 

He remembered the disgusted look on Flagon’s face as he stared at the still-healing stump as he packed his things and left Erwin behind.

 

There were a lot of things that he remembered, but the feeling of being shot wasn’t one of them.  The the humiliation of trying to learn how to use one hand, pain of rehabilitation, the tediousness of being fitted for one prosthetic after another, the surgery to have a state-of-the-art bionic arm attached to him, learning to use said bionic arm, the ache of loneliness in the middle of the night.  Erwin had suffered, in more ways than one. 

 

As he stood in front of a mirror and looked at the scars and metal arm, he understood what Flagon had seen.  It wasn’t pretty. He remembered when he was called handsome, but now people just stared. He remembered how it felt to be wanted, but now he slept alone.  He remembered being confident when he walked into a room, but now he rarely left his house other than to go to work. 

 

He had nothing left.  Nothing to offer. He had lost his arm, his dream job, his lover, and himself.

 

It had been five years....he wondered if he would ever find his way back.

 

* * *

 

The day Eren moved into the townhouses just off campus had to be the most glorious day of his 20 years of existence.  He was skeptical at first, but now he needed to go bow down and thank Armin for his undeniable wisdom and foresight. He had put up a fight when the proposition first came up, but Armin had a powerpoint (a frickin’  _ powerpoint _ ) already prepared highlighting all the reasons they should forego campus living and get a place in the quiet little suburb.  The biggest reason for his hesitance was the fact that they had to recruit two others to share the burden of rent for the plan to work.  Of course Armin already had this problem solved...it was the solution that bothered him. He would be living with that freakin’ horse faced bastard, Jean Kirstein, of all people.  And Marco, but who couldn’t love Marco?

 

But the real reason it ended up being the best day of his life...was the neighbor.  Eren could remember the first time he saw the older man outside shining his motorcycle.  Broad shoulders, trim waist, he looked like a bad-ass with his dark hair and stormy gray eyes.  He wasn’t exactly the most friendly of people, but he wasn’t a complete asshole. He did help move them in, afterall.  He spoke to Eren when they saw each other. Yes, Levi Ackerman was definitely the highlight to living off campus. 

 

And Eren had no trouble admitting that he had a crush.  A huge one. Like, he couldn’t sleep at night, butterflies in his stomach, heart going to burst kind of crush.  Jean gave him shit for it, and Armin tried to dissuade him. But Eren was determined. He was going to convince Levi that they would be perfect together.

 

Eren looked out his bedroom window as he heard Levi’s motorcycle pull out of the drive.  Damn, the man was so fucking hot.

 

* * *

 

“Levi, Bro!”  Isabel greeted as he walked into work.

 

“Shit, am I with you and Farlan today?” He asked as he opened his locker to put his things away.

 

“Oh yeah.  The dream team back together on this rotation,” Farlan cheered.

 

“More like Nightmare on Elm Street.  I wonder how much jail time I would get for pushing you out of a helicopter.  But, then again, there’s no witnesses.”

 

“Why you gotta be like that?” Farlan pouted.

 

“Just keeping it real.”  Levi put on his flight suit as Isabel, his flight nurse, and Farlan, his flight paramedic, checked their supplies.  “I’m going to do my pre-shift check and make sure we’re all fueled up.”

 

“Okay, flyboy.  We will hold down the fort,” Isabel said with a dismissive wave.

 

“And then you can tell us all about that neighbor of yours.  You know, the one who is stalking you.” Farlan’s eyes danced mischievously.

 

“Fuck you, Church.  You are well on the way to being a greasy spot on my helipad.”

 

“Love you, mean it!” Farlan shouted at Levi’s retreating back.  The dark-haired man turned just enough to flip-off his friend before walking outside.

 

“He really needs to get out more,” Farlan said to Isabel.

 

“Yeah, but I’m not going to be the one to tell him.”

 

“Nope, not touching that one.”

 

* * *

 

“It’s looks really good.  Your body is really adjusting well to this upgrade.”

 

“Thanks, Hanji.”  Erwin flexed the fingers of his bionic arm.  “It’s almost strange to have some sensitivity in this arm after not being able to feel anything for so long.”

 

“No doubt.  You can get a silicone sleeve for it.  It will dull the sensitivity, but it will look more like a natural arm,” they explained as they had Erwin go through a series of exercises.

 

“I gave up on vanity a long time ago, Hanji.”

 

“Yeah, I know,” Hanji responded disapprovingly.  “Maybe it’s time to put yourself back out there.”

 

“I’ll pass, but thank you for the suggestion.”  Erwin slipped his shirt back over his head. “I’m too busy with work anyway.”

 

“Not to point out the obvious, or rub salt into a wound, but don’t you work a desk job now?  Pretty sure all of your additional hours are voluntary.”

 

“Hanji…”

 

“I’m just worried about you.  Mike said he stopped by your place a few days ago and he had to make you go grocery shopping because you had no food.”

 

“I eat.  I just don’t cook.  There’s no point when it’s just me.”  Erwin shrugged.

 

“But it shouldn’t be just you!”  Hanji slammed their hands down on the table, making Erwin jump.  “You’re still young. You should be going out, meeting people, or at least socializing with your friends.  Nile even called  _ me _ because he was worried about you.   _ Nile.   _ You know how Nile and I don’t get along.”

 

“What?  Is this an intervention?”  Erwin sighed and ran his hand through his hair.  “I don’t need saving.”

 

“Could have fooled me.”

 

“I wish you wouldn’t worry.  I’m fine. I’ve accepted that things will never be like they were.  I appreciate if all of you would accept that, too.”

 

* * *

 

“Why are you here?”  Levi leaned against the doorway and scowled at Eren.

 

“Hi to you too,” Eren muttered.

 

“I’m tired.  I just pulled a 16 hour shift.  So, tell me what you want so I can go to bed.”  Levi rubbed at his temples, feeling a headache forming.

 

“I see that there is going to be some live bands down at the Titan this weekend.  I know you like that place, so I was wondering-“

 

“No.”

 

“What?  Why?”

 

“Just no, Eren.  I’m too old for you, kid.”  Levi hated to hurt his feelings, but he wasn’t attracted to the younger man.

 

“The age difference doesn’t bother me,” Eren argued.

 

“Well, it does me.  Besides, I already told Isabel and Farlan I would go with them.  Go home, Eren. I’m going to bed.” Levi softly shut the door, trying not to feel guilty for breaking the kid’s heart.

 

* * *

 

“Hey there hot stuff.  How about you give me your digits?”  Erwin sat down the weights and turned toward the flirtatious voice.

 

“Nanaba.  It’s a good thing you’re married, because that was a terrible pick-up line.”  He grabbed a towel and wiped away the sweat.

 

“I could have made a comment about your ass,” she teased as she gave him a spank.

 

“Hey!” Erwin protested, swatting her hands away.  “Besides, we all know my legs are my best feature.”

 

“If you say so.  For someone who claims you’re not vain, you spend a lot of time in the gym.”

 

“I have balance the weight of the prosthetic, so I’m not doing this to be noticed.”

 

“Oh, but, baby, you are.”  Nanaba pointed to the street just beyond the windows of the gym where a small gathering of people stood, staring.

 

“It’s the arm.  It is rather...unnerving.”

 

“Normally I would ignore your self-depreciation, but not today my beautiful, blonde Adonis.  They’re staring because they are thirsty for you and your body.”

 

“What does that even mean?  Does Mike know you talk to me this way?”

 

“Who do think sent me?”  Nanaba crosses her arms and gave him a look that made even a large man like Erwin fear for his life.  “I brought you a change of clothes.”

 

“I have clothes in the locker room, thank you,” Erwin said with a sniff.

 

“Yeah, no.  I’ve seen how you’ve been dressing lately, and I just can’t take anymore.  We are meeting Mike at Titan tonight for some live music, questionable bar food, and watered down drinks.  Don’t even open your mouth. You have no say.” Nanaba threw a duffel bag at him.

 

“I’m changing my locks.  You and Mike invade my personal space too often to be considered normal.”  Erwin pulled the bag to his chest as if it was armor.

 

“Well, if you start functioning like a normal adult-“

 

“That’s not nice.”

 

“Don’t give me that bullshit.  I know your therapist is telling you the same thing, because you told Marie that he asked you to try to get out more.  This isn’t healthy, Erwin.”

 

“I can’t help it if my brain is just a broken as the rest of me, Nanaba.”

 

“It’s not broken, you’re not broken...just a little banged up.”  Erwin looked at her. “Now get your sweaty, sexy ass in there and take a shower.”

 

* * *

 

“Well, I thought you were going to bring a date...omph!”  Farlan doubled over and his breath rushed from his lungs after Levi elbowed him in the stomach.

 

“Shut your blasphemous mouth, Church,” the dark-haired man growled.

 

“But, bro, you didn’t have to come alone.  I’m sure that-”

 

“Isabel, I will walk out that door if finish that sentence.”  Knowing that Levi wasn’t bluffing, Isabel kept her mouth shut, but she didn’t even attempt to hide the sly, amused grin on her face.

 

“So, are we to assume that it was a complete coincidence that he’s here?” Farlan asked nonchalantly.  

 

“What?”  Levi looked around frantically to see Eren, Armin, Mikasa, Jean, and Marco walk through the door.  “Fuck me. Is he stalking me now?”

 

“Oh, sweetie, he’s been stalking you,” Isabel said with false sincerity.

 

“Let’s go hide in the crowd.  Maybe he won’t find me on the dancefloor.  I’m short, easily overlooked.” 

 

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Levi,” Farlan chuckled.  

 

“We could go hang out over there...with  _ that _ .”  Levi followed the direction Isabel’s finger was pointing.  Standing at a tall table at the outer edge of the dance floor was a tall blonde talking to a couple at the table.  Levi watched as he turned and scanned the crowd almost self-consciously. He was easily the most attractive man Levi had seen in a long time.  He had broad shoulders, a trim waist, and a fantastic ass. The chiseled jaw, high cheekbones, and a set of full, soft lips was the stuff of fantasies.  He was stunning, and Levi was interested. Levi then watched as he nodded at something and started to make his way across the room. It was then he found out that he was spotted by Eren.  He made a decision.

 

“Levi, where are you going?”  Farlan asked as he walked off.

 

“Hopefully deter my admirer, and, hopefully, I’ll come out with my head in tact.”

 

* * *

 

Erwin was attempting to fight his way through the crowded club toward the bar when he felt the tap on his shoulder.  When he turned around, the last thing he expected was the most beautiful man he had ever seen. He was admittedly quite a bit shorter than Erwin, and his nose was slightly crooked as if it had been broken at least once.  However, his pale skin seemed to glow in the flashing lights, and his eyes, an indeterminate shade in the darkness, were intense and predatory. His dark hair was cut in an undercut, falling a little longer than fashionable, but it made him look roguish and wild.  His body was small, but he was broad shouldered and, if his forearms were anything to go by, he was tightly muscled. He was every fantasy Erwin ever had.

 

“Can I help you?”  Erwin leaned down and shouted over the din of the club.  He had an apology waiting on his tongue, certain that he may have caused a spilled drink or stepped on toes as he trekked across the room.  Men like this one didn’t hit on Erwin. In fact, he often found himself going home alone from such establishments. He assumed that he just wasn’t attractive enough to interest beautiful men like the one in front of him, despite Nanaba’s earlier teasing.  His perpetual, and slightly pathetic, single status was proof that her opinion was a blatant falsehood and she should be systematically ignored. He hadn’t had one decent offer or date since...the accident. He knew that the bionic arm (or the remaining mangled stub) was less than attractive, and apparently a deal-breaker before anything could even start.  His ex was evidence of that.

 

“I’m sorry,” the surprisingly deep voice shouted over the music.  Before Erwin could as why the man was apologizing, he was pulled into a very unexpected, but incredibly passionate, kiss.  The smaller man had his fingers tangled deliciously in Erwin’s blonde hair, pulling him closer when Erwin jerked back in shock. Not knowing what was going on, or what else to do, he cupped the man’s jaw with one hand and rested the other, the prosthetic one, on his hip, returning the kiss.

 

“Hey, Levi, there you are.  Hey, I was going to ask you...oh, shit.  I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were here with someone.”  Erwin gently broke the kiss when he heard the sound of another man's voice...er, boy, rather, Erwin thought as he approached.  It was only then that Erwin registered the silence in the background. The first band must have finished their set, and another band was setting up.

 

“Eren, what the fuck are you doing here?  Are you even old enough to get in?” Erwin’s sexy stranger, Levi, growled.

 

“I’m old enough.  I was looking for you...to see if maybe you would want-“

 

“Have you met my boyfriend?”  Levi interrupted, pushing Erwin forward.  The boy’s, Eren, big green eyes looked up at Erwin as if to gauge his worthiness.  It made the blonde very uncomfortable. He knew he didn’t measure up, but he didn’t need some punk-ass kid pointing it out.

 

“I’m Erwin,” he stated sticking out a hand, proud that it wasn’t the prosthetic one.

 

“I’m Eren.  I’m Levi’s neighbor.  Wow, you’re really...tall, and big, and...goddamn pretty really,” the kid said in a huff, defeated look on his face.  Erwin raised a skeptical eyebrow.

 

“Pleasure to meet you Eren.  I’ll probably be seeing you around.”  Erwin smiled kindly in understanding.

 

“Um, yeah, just be good to him, okay?”

 

“Of course.  I wouldn’t dream of screwing this up.”  Erwin could almost feel The tension from Levi’s body uncoil.

 

“I think Armin and Mikasa are waiting on you,” Levi finally spoke up.

 

“Yeah, I guess I’ll see you guys,” the kid said, offering a small wave as he sulked back to his friends. 

 

“That was-“  Erwin started.

 

“Yeah, sorry about that.  He’s very persistent, and convinced he was going to change my mind about going out with him, no matter how many times I told him no.  He’s a good kid though, so I didn’t want to be a complete dick and tell him that there was no way in hell I was going to date his ass.”  Erwin nodded, ignoring the slight sting that came from Levi’s admission. He couldn’t have reasonably expected a beautiful man like Levi to be actually interested.

 

“I understand.  It was thoughtful to think of his feelings.”  Erwin paused for a moment. “I’m Erwin, by the way.”

 

“Yeah, I caught that.”  Levi stuck out a hand. “I’m Levi.  Sorry for accosting you like that.”

 

“No, no need to apologize.  There are worse things than being kissed by a handsome man,” Erwin said with a smile.  They stood in awkward silence for a few moments, Levi studying him, his gaze resting on a obviously artificial hand.

 

“What happened there?” The blood drained from Levi’s face a moment after he asked.  “Shit, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking rude. Please, you have to answer that. It’s none of my damn business.”

 

“It’s fine,” the blonde chuckled.  “I was an agent on the violent crimes task force - gun smuggling, drug rings, and all that.  I was was in the middle of a take down when I was shot in the arm, almost point blank with s sawed-off twelve gauge shotgun.  I was lucky to just lose the arm. Had the guy shot from a different angle, I would be dead.”

 

“Fuck.  Well, damn, I don’t even know what to say to that.”

 

“It was a few years ago.  No worries.” Erwin waved it off, like he did most things.  “It was a pleasure meeting you.” Erwin turned to leave.

 

“Hey, Robocop,” Levi called after him.  Erwin couldn’t help but be amused.

 

“Yes, Levi?”

 

“You’re not seeing anyone, are you?”

 

“No, why?”  Erwin looked back at the smaller man.

 

“You want to get out of this shit hole?  There’s a diner just down the block. We can grab some really fattening food and talk.  I’d like to get to know you.”

 

“Yeah, sounds good.”  Erwin’s heart pounded wildly in his chest.

 

* * *

 

“So, Levi,” Farlan started.  “Just where did you disappear to the other night.”  He laid down a card. “One three.”

 

“I went to Maria’s diner.”  Levi studied the cards in his hand.  “Two fours.”

 

“With the hot blonde?”  Isabel asked. “Four fives.”

 

“Bullshit!”  Farlan shouted.

 

“Eat them, Church.”  She turned over the cards to show all four were fives.  She pushed the stack toward him.

 

“Yeah, and his name is Erwin.  We’re going out again Friday.” Levi looked at Farlan.  “You’re holding the game up.”

 

“Hold on, I’m trying to organize my cards.”  Farlan starts going through them faster. “One six.”

 

“Three sevens,” Levi laid down the cards.

 

“Where are you guys going?”  Isabel laid down a card. “One eight.”

 

“Bullshit.  Pick ‘em up, Iz.”  Levi handed her the cards.  

 

“Damn it!”  She whined. “Well...your date?”

 

“We’re going to the Fall Festival.”

 

“He must be good in bed to get you out in public like that,” Farlan said.

 

“I wouldn’t know, since we haven’t slept together yet.  We only just met two days ago.”

 

“Yeah, but you can’t tell me that you’re not at least thinking about it.  He’s fucking sexy as hell. He’s got that whole Winter Soldier had a love child with Captain America vibe going.  I would hit that if I had the chance.” Farlan looked over to Isabel. “It’s still your turn.”

 

“Fine.  Two nines.”

 

“I’m not saying I don’t want to sleep with him.  I’m saying that I’m interested in more than falling into bed with him.”  Levi shrugged.

 

“We need to take a picture,” Isabel squealed.  “I need to memorialize the day Levi decided he wants more than just sex.”

 

“I know, right?”  Farlan added. “He either isn’t interested at all or they never make it more than a one night stand.”

 

“I’ve had relationships,” Levi protested.

 

“Three dates doesn’t make a relationship, Levi.”

 

“I hate you both.”

 

* * *

 

“Erwin,” Levi sighed desperately as the blonde broke their kiss.

 

“I promise, I’m really going this time,” Erwin panted against his lips.  

 

They were standing on Levi’s front porch after another successful date after several weeks of successful dates.  Erwin walked him to his door like always, and leaned down to kiss him goodnight. This had been their ritual since their second date.  Only, this time, one kiss turned into two, and then more as they pulled each other closer, each kiss becoming more heated and lingering longer.  God, Levi hadn’t made out like this since he was a teenager, and Erwin was a phenomenal kisser. Now if he could just convince the man to put mouth other places.

 

“It’s early yet.  You want to come in for a drink?”  Levi tugged on the lapel of Erwin’s jacket in an attempt to get his point across.

 

“I can’t drink.  I’m driving.” Erwin smiled to soften the rejection, but there was desire still burning in those beautiful blue eyes.

 

“I’m not really asking you in for a drink, Erwin,” Levi stretched to whisper hotly in Erwin’s ear.  “I’m asking you to stay the night.”

 

“I know.”

 

“So, are you telling me no?”  Levi stepped back, confused. “Do you not want - I mean, are you not attracted to me?”

 

“God, Levi, no, please don’t think that.  You’re beautiful, and amazing, and to make love to you would probably be the greatest experience in my life, but I just...can’t.”  Erwin looked close to panic.

 

“Are you impotent?”

 

“Wait!  What? No!”  The blonde choked.

 

“So, you can’t, or won’t?  There’s a big difference there.”  Levi couldn’t help the hurt in his tone.

 

“Can’t, because I’m selfish, and I’m not ready to give you up yet.”  Deep sadness settled in Erwin’s eyes.

 

“What in the flying fuck are you talking about?”

 

“You don’t think I don’t know what a turn-off it is to see…”. Erwin made a motion to his arm.

 

“Your prosthetic?  Are you serious?” Levi crossed his arms in annoyance.  “Erwin, I’m a pilot for fucking Life Flight, and you think that your badass bionic arm is going to be a deal breaker?”

 

“I used to be engaged.”  Erwin said softly. “He left not long after I got out of the hospital.  He couldn’t even look at me anymore, let alone touch me. I tried dating a couple times after he left.  My pride can only handle so much. I know it’s disgusting. I have to look at it every day.”

 

“Shut the fuck up, right now.  The fucking hell? What kind of douchebags have you been going out with?”  Erwin opened his mouth, but Levi held up a hand. “Don’t answer that. Just get your ass in the house.  No arguing, just move.”

 

Erwin lowered his head and did as he was told, looking like a scolded child.  It was the first time the man had ever walked past the front door. Levi really hadn’t thought about it much before, but it dawned on him that Erwin had managed to avoid being completely alone with him.  At least now he knew why to a degree.

 

“This is a nice place, Levi.  My apartment is a cracker box in comparison,” Erwin said in an obvious attempt to make small talk.

 

“Thanks, but I didn’t bring you here to discuss square footage.” Levi took off his jacket and motioned for Erwin to do the same.  

 

“Levi-”

 

“Erwin, I don’t know if I’m angry that someone is so base and callus enough to leave you when you needed them most, or that you seem to be a terrible judge of character, or if it’s the fact that you think so little of  _ my _ character.  If you’re not ready for us to be intimate because you want to go slow, is one thing.  But if you’re pushing me away because you think I’m not attracted to you, you’re an idiot.”

 

“It’s not that I think so little of you, Levi.  Most people think they can handle it, but in reality…”

 

“Let me judge for myself.  I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours,” Levi teased, lightening the mood.

 

“So, you just expect me to strip?”  Erwin asked, incredulous.

 

“No, we’re going to make out some more, and see where that leads us.  And hopefully it leads us to my bedroom eventually.” Levi led Erwin to the couch and pulled him into a kiss.  Levi could feel Erwin relaxing by degrees as they kissed slowly, sweetly. They remained that way until all of the tension drained out of Erwin’s shoulders and the kisses slowly turned back into the same heated intensity as earlier.  Erwin’s left hand trembled as he buried it in Levi’s hair, pulling him closer. Levi nipped at his bottom lip in encouragement, and Erwin groaned.

 

“Levi.”  The blonde gripped Levi’s hip with his bionic hand, and the he cold feel the cold metal through the fabric of his pants.  Levi held Erwin’s face between his hands, keeping him close, but he wanted closer. The hand on his hip tugged, pulling him onto Erwin’s lap.  He felt Erwin’s body responding to his proximity, so he gave an experimental roll of his hips, not anticipating the pleasure that coursed through his body.

 

“Fuck, oh that’s good,” Levi moaned against Erwin’s mouth, grinding down again.  Erwin’s hand slid from Levi’s hip to his ass to help his movements. Their kisses quickly turned desperate and needy, hands wandering, petting, grabbing.

 

“It’s been so long.  You feel so good.” Erwin’s voice was liquid sex and Levi shivered. He couldn’t handle waiting anymore.  He needed this man in his bed. He scrambled off Erwin’s lap and pulled him toward the bedroom.

 

“Come on,” he encouraged.

 

“Where are we going?”  Erwin asked.

 

“Bedroom.  So we can get naked and talk about it.”

 

“Talk about what?”

 

“Who the fuck cares.  You’ll be naked. That’s all I care about.”  

 

* * *

 

As soon as Levi shut the bedroom door, he stipped his shirt over his head and walked toward the bed.  Erwin watched, blue eyes burning dark as he nervously fingered the hem of his own shirt. Levi turned back to Erwin and slowly undid his pants, letting them fall to the floor.  He wasn’t wearing underwear and Erwin licked his lips. He stood there, all compact, corded muscles and pale skin and Erwin felt his dick twitch in anticipation. He had not felt desire this strong in a very long time.  This beautiful man in front of him was his, if he could only get the courage to take off his damn shirt.

 

“I just want you to know, it’s okay if you change your mind,” Erwin warned before gripping the shirt with purpose.  He could do this, for Levi. Levi was different. He was amazing. And Erwin was maybe just a little bit in love. If Levi rejected him now, Erwin wasn’t sure he could recover.

 

“Thanks for that, but I can promise you, I’m not changing my mind.”  Erwin braced himself before pulling the shirt over his head, not yet meeting Levi’s eyes.  “Dear god, how are you even real?”

 

“What?”  Erwin jumped at the feeling of cold fingers tracing the lines of his muscled abdomen, down the thin line of dark blonde hair below his belly button, to the snap of his jeans.  Levi wasted no time before popping it open and pushing the jeans to the floor, his underwear following close behind.

 

******

 

Levi’s brain was about to short circuit.  How could this man ever possibly think he was unattractive?  He looked sculpted out of marble. Those thighs made Levi want to weep at their perfection.  His remaining arm was as big as Levi’s thigh. Hell, his whole body was golden skin stretch over muscle.  And Levi didn’t even want to contemplate how Erwin had the most perfect dick he had ever seen. Levi hardly noticed the bionic arm in the face of all that masculine gloriousness.  The scars were just a numerous and terrible as he imagined, but they were just a reminder that Levi almost never had the chance to have someone as wonderful as Erwin Smith in his life.  Levi loved every one of those scars because they allowed him to have Erwin. 

 

Not to mention that arm was fucking badass - high tech and something out of a Marvel movie.  

 

“I want to know how you could ever think that I wouldn’t want you when you look like  _ that, _ ” Levi said reverently, letting his hands feel the plains of Erwin’s body as the man shivered in front of him.  “You are the most beautiful man I have ever seen.”

 

“Are you sure?  It’s very...unsettling.”  Erwin rotated his wrist a little.

 

“It’s sexy as hell.”  Levi reached out and ran his fingers over the smooth metal of the palm and he noticed that the fingers twitched.  “Can you feel that?”

 

“I can feel things like heat and pressure, but I don’t have the sensitivity of a real hand.”

 

“That is amazing, and maybe something we can investigate further later.  But right now…” Levi’s hand gripped Erwin’s cock. “I have other things on my mind besides bio-mechanics.”

 

“Oh, god, yeah, later’s good.”  Erwin bent to kiss Levi and pull him flush against his body.  

 

“I figured,” Levi smiled against Erwin’s lips, pulling him to the bed.  “Now, come here, Handsome.”

 

* * *

 

“Erwin?  Is that you?”  Erwin turned at the sound of the voice calling him to see Flagon approaching him.  

 

“Flagon, it’s been awhile,” Erwin responded, guarded.

 

“You look good...really good.”

 

“Thanks.  I hope you are doing well,” Erwin at least attempted to not show how uncomfortable he was with this conversation.

 

“Yeah, I’m good.  But apparently not as good as you.”  Flagon blushed at Erwin’s raised eyebrow.  “Anyway, what brings you out tonight?”

 

“Oh, I’m here celebrating with some friends.”

 

“Really?  What’s the celebration?”

 

“Erwin?  Are they in the back stomping the grapes?  Where’s the wine?” Erwin and Flagon both turned to see Levi approaching.

 

“Sorry, I ran into an old...friend?”  Erwin said uncertainly.

 

“Friend?  Come on Erwin, we were a lot more.”  Flagon inched closer the blonde.

 

“Oh, I get it, you’re the douche-”

 

“Levi, be nice,” Erwin scolded.

 

“Why?  It wasn’t like he was very nice to you, when you were-”

 

“It’s fine, Levi, really.”  Erwin smiled softly at the shorter man.

 

“Fine,” Levi growled and turned to Flagon. 

 

“I’m Flagon.  Erwin and I used to be a thing.”

 

“Yeah, I got that.  Well, I would like to say it was nice to meet you, but I really just want  to go now, so…”

 

“Levi…” Erwin’s tone was only a little amused.  “Flagon, this is my husband, Levi. As much as I would like to stay and catch up, I’m afraid that our friends are waiting on us to help us celebrate our anniversary.  Maybe next time, yeah?” Erwin wrapped his arm around his husband and walked away from the man who once crushed him. 

 

“You okay?”  Levi asked.

 

“Of course I am.  Why wouldn’t I be?”

 

“If you’re sure.”  He felt Levi study him for a minute.

 

“See something you like?”  Erwin teased.

 

“We could sneak out early, you can give me a little strip tease…”

 

“I like where you’re going with this.”  Erwin felt his whole being radiate with happiness as he looked down at the man who help him find himself again.

 

“Come on, Handsome.  Take me home.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Feedback and kudos are welcome! Thanks for reading.


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